Sorry, not sorry
As the few of you who have read my blog will know, I am quite irregular with my publications. This has been a bone of contention in the discussions I have had with myself for a long time, but with this blog, I hope to curb this tendency a little. If you have time, let me walk you through the process that has led me to say I’m not sorry for being irregular with my blog posts.
At the center of all this is my creative process. I’m a writer that creates from the seat of my pants. Even if I build a plan when I start a book, I will inevitably stray from it and follow the characters where they take me. This means at least three rewrites before I even start the publishing and editing process. The paradox begins to show its face when I think of how I work when under contract with a client. The very opposite occurs. I build a plan and stick to it, making sure I fulfill the client’s demands. This dichotomy creates argumentative fodder for my inner voice, who is constantly badgering me to follow a strict schedule and publish often. The reality is my blog is a creative outlet, thus it exists in quantum chaos and only appears if I observe it.
Then there’s the fact I don’t much appreciate producing something just to produce something. It’s my belief that my blog, any blog really, is an opinion piece, which means that the first person affected is me. But then I think of the idea that someone, somewhere, might need to read my words and gain some clarity. Maybe they are going through the same thing as I am and need to understand they are not alone.
Suffice to say that the conversations with myself have been intense at moments. This morning, I came to a conclusion. In order for me to be authentic, I must follow my creative side, which means I must accept I will be irregular. But I have to find a way to set an alarm in my mind, so I don’t let too much time slip between publications. Even if there’s only one person waiting for my next blog, I need to respect that and be present for that person.
There you have it, I’m back with a new outlook and I hope you will hop on with me as I continue to take you inside my mind and my soul. I’m sorry it took so long to realize this, but I’m also not sorry because, without this recent time-lapse, I would not have made this realization.
In closing, I invite anyone who feels touched by the current events to devote all praying or meditating time to the people of Ukraine. If all we can do is send positive energy in their direction, it will be at least that. Peace on earth is possible and it starts with us.